The beginning

Do I have all the answers, of course not! I have found the answer that works for me in my life.  I have found The Truth!  At the beginning of September I signed up for a Sabbath School class at my church.  This class was to be a discussion of the book, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World", by Joanna Weaver.  So I missed the first class if I remember right, but made it to the second one, where I picked up my book.  I took part in the discussion, even though I hadnt read anything yet.  I really liked the women in the class.  Some of these women I have known for years and some I am just getting to know.  I feel comfortable with them.  That, it would turn out, would be a turning point for me.  I made it to a couple of more classes, and then came the best thing for me!

Women of Faith 2010, held in Portland, OR.

That was a major factor in my walk.  Talk about getting me thinking!  The first person I heard speak was Sheila Walsh and she talked about trusting God.  Trust God? I thought, oh yeah I do that.  But I didnt.  I felt it more over that weekend, that I really never did.  I learned a lot that weekend, that would take too much to go into, but for me the key that came out of that weekend was TRUST GOD!  There were some wonderful speakers, some who made me cry, some made me laugh, ALL made me think!  Something else that came out of the weekend, new friends. A sense of belonging, that I hadn't felt before.  God is so good! That sense of belonging followed right into my Sabbath School class. 

I came home from that weekend energized!  I was ready to do the work.  I dont mean just to work in the church, to be of service to others.  I mean I was ready to do the work required to find My God.  You see, I had lost Him.  Somewhere along the way I had lost the connection.  I had turned away, because HE never did.  HE never left me!  But I had to relearn that. 

At some point I realized that I had lost that book.  I couldnt find it anywhere.  So I called one of the leaders of the class to ask if I could have another.  There werent any, but (now listen up, proof that God is working), while I was talking to her, I FOUND IT! I had looked everywhere, all over my house for WEEKS!  I couldnt find it anywhere.  For those of you who know my housekeeping skills, you probably are not surprised, but I havent ever lost a book!  So while on the phone with her, telling just some of what I had brought home from Women of Faith, there it was.  Practically in plain sight.

I set the book aside and determined to start reading it.  Well I was schooling my youngest two at the time, so I picked it up while they were working and started reading!  That first chapter, really got me thinking.  I liked her style and I liked what she was saying.  At the end of the book was a bible study guide.  I did that Bible study and realized how like Martha I was.  But more than that, I wanted to learn more.

For anyone who has ever tried to learn anything, the desire to learn must be there.  Let's say you are in a class in school and the subject just bores you, or maybe its the teacher. I had a history professor like that once.  The sad fact is that I love history, and I couldnt stay awake in the class.  So I lost my desire to learn.  I have always said, "I dont read non-fiction. It bores me, I fall asleep!".  Well her book didnt bore me,instead it made me think; I really wanted to move to the next chapter.  Because I had been behind in my reading and had lost the book, I had to read to Ch. 7 to catch up to the class.  I read a chapter a day and did the corresponding Bible study with each chapter.  I learned so much about myself, and about God! 

God has a way of shoving (oops I mean) showing us the way He wants us to go.  Our job is to listen!  My heart was finally ready for Him, in ways it never had been before.  My mind was open, and that was a key factor for me!  Joanna Weaver tells the story of Jesus' love, and its amazing power.  I am almost done with the book now, and still I find this theme of Sacrificial Love.  A story I have known all my life.  But I didnt have it in my heart. I didnt trust it.  His love wasnt REAL to me. I am still learning to trust it.  I am still learning to follow God.  But His love??  No, that is more real to me now than it EVER has been before. 

This has gotten long, so I will post some of the deepest impressions I got from the book, but mostly from my Bible study time, later.  She has a way of asking the hard questions.  Questions that make you look inside yourself.  Questions that make you search deeper, find those "burrs".  More later....